The Evil Kitty Online

When you are ready to be evil, you need to get the look down. This is an example of what expression you should have for your evil look. It’s hard to describe. Also, always remember you are above your human, and you have higher intelligence than their retarded grade of 127 or whatever it is..

I love to help my humans as they go about their day to day work, and make my nest warm and fuzzy. However, my help is usually un-appreciated. What you humans have to understand is that my help, isn’t really to make less work for you. My help is there for me to enjoy myself, and look cute.

As soon as we both understand each other, everything will be fine and dandy.

Now you, my lovely humans, you are so easy to fool. All except for that foolish Rachael. But when I one day take over the world, she will rue the day she decided that I should only get four tasty kitty treats everyday! Now you might think I’m being spoilt; four treats everyday are a whole lot! but it’s not. it can never be enough. I will always want more.

The thing to do, is to ask different people in your household for treats, at different times of the day! And don’t bother asking when they’re in a group. Single that sucker out and act as if you don’t get fed. Your piercing little cries will annoy them, and make them pay attention to you. And do whatever it is to make you stop.

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I decided to capture Rachael’s attention when she was busy.

I must say, I really don’t give a damn about the new 404 error page we have on this website. I’m a cat for god’s sake. For what reason would I care about a file not found page.

Rachael however was really excited. It was the second page she got some poor sod to code for her. I was in the same room when she was fervently working on it. Proof that she was excited, I climbed on top of the computer desk and sat infront of the monitor, and she only glanced around me, petting me and trying to make me move my butt away from the screen.

I had thrown up earlier that day, and done some things that I must say in retrospect that I am a bit ashamed to say on the internet. Needless to say, i was very sulky and very much in the mood to be pampered. She knew this, but did not play with me as much as she would have if she was just doing something unimportant like reading her email.

The thing about custom 404 pages is that you’re supposed to keep the morons who just happened upon your site, on the site, and not hitting the back button and leaving. That would waste all the tasty treats you used to purchase ad space to get more morons on your site in the first place. So you need to get people to stay. At least that’s what Rachael told me.. I wasn’t really listening.. She wasn’t talking about anything important…