The Evil Kitty Online

I was dreaming of beautiful butterflies and fairy princesses who weren’t Rachael and who would fly down and do mean things like throw drops of water at me; thus giving me permission to go fairy hunting. It was a lovely dream.. I was pawing at them, chasing them, catching them and eating them. They tasted heavenly… Like a bit of catnip
mixed with kitty nibble. I sometimes grazed on the yummy grass and my fur was spiffy with my kitty spit. This was not a dream to be taken lightly.

So as you can imagine, when a little bird chirped and chirped and woke me up, I was rather annoyed and immediately jumped out the window to press the snooze alarm. Unfortunately, the little bird gave me a run
for my money, and by the time I was fully awake, I had more important concerns. In my rage at the bird I had jumped out the window.. and I had no keys and no lock-picking skills.. And the open window I’d
jumped out from was on the second floor.

So I made a ruckus and demanded to be let back inside. This may have caused some confusion for the raccoon man, as he was the only one who woke up at 6. Normally he expects me to be inside the house.. so it
was a bit of a surprise when he realized I was outside demanding to be let in.

He let me in, and then yelled at Rachael.. who went back to a fitful sleep. I climbed on my window ledge and glared at the stupid bird. When Rachael woke up, she wanted to know how I got outside.. as I am a little scared of heights. She looked at the window ledge, then down at the huge drop I jumped, and then at me, sitting next to a window. And
guess what? She immediately came to the conclusion that I was asleep and I rolled out of the window.

Of all the– what is wrong with her brain? Cats do not roll off of windows.. Ok yes I have rolled off the bed once or twice.. but that doesn’t mean I’ll roll off a window when I’m asleep! We need to make Rachael know this! email her at Rachael[at]evilkittyonline.com please. And let her know she’s made a horrible mistake and she’s slandering her poor cute kitty’s name.